The Explanation
If the point of view is the problem… What caused the point of view?
Our point of view is a very subjective thing! How we perceive an event is often determined by the outcome we want or the outcome we don’t want!
Two different people can both experience exactly the same event at exactly the same time… However, they can both form two completely opposite points of view and as a result feel totally opposite feelings… which then leads to each of them experiencing polar opposite reactions!
Sporting events are fantastic examples…
Imagine the spectators at a big, very significant football match. A Grand Final! Two different teams competing against each other. Both hoping for a glorious victory. One team will end up ‘winners’… the other team will be… ‘losers’… Roughly 50% of the crowd want their team to win, and the opposing team to lose. The other 50% of the crowd want exactly the same thing… but the opposite outcome! They want their team to be the winners.
There’s an interesting fact about Grand Final football matches. There will always be a winner and a loser. Never two winners! It doesn’t matter who wins and who loses, half of the spectators will feel ‘sad’ to a greater or lesser degree, and they’ll experience the associated physiological reaction to the feeling of sadness…(sobbing and uncontrollable crying!) The other half of the spectators will feel ‘happy’ with the outcome, and they too will experience the associated physiological reaction… Jumping for joy!
Everyone wants to win… No-one wants to lose…
The difference between feeling ‘happy’ or ‘crappy’ is… the point of view! Whatever opinion is formed; good, bad, or otherwise, the opinion will create a corresponding feeling, and an associated reaction. This is a critically important but usually unrecognised and very much unappreciated… Fact!
When the Grand Final football match is over and done with, the thoughts, feelings, and associated reactions become a… Memory! We forget about it. We accept the outcome and move on! We might not be happy with the outcome, but we accept it. We don’t spend the rest of our lives traumatised by the outcome of a football match. We might grumble about the outcome. Resent the outcome. Feel sad or angry about the outcome… but we accept the outcome and ‘mentally’ move on!
We all experience events we would like to be able to forget… but can’t!
Being unable to forget, prevents us from ‘mentally’ moving on!
There is a reason we can't forget...
A footy match comes to an end… a logical, accepted conclusion. It might seem like an unacceptable conclusion, but you accept it nonetheless. If your team lost, and you weren’t happy with the outcome, you might simply come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter; “It is what it is, maybe we’ll have better luck next year!”… The grand final is now over and done with in your mind, because…
You accept the conclusion!
Unlike last years footy grand final, some of the more ‘challenging’ events of our lives; the ones we really wish had never happened… are not yet over and done with in our mind. The event itself may very well be over… BUT… it’s definitely not yet… Done with!
It'll never be "done with" until we accept a conclusion!
Up until now, our perceived ‘conclusion’ has either been totally… unacceptable… or we didn’t realise we needed to accept a ‘conclusion’. A conclusion is critically important to the part of your mind that stores your memories.
- Your point of view is part of a memory.
- Feelings are part of a memory.
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The conclusion is also part of a memory; A critically important part!
Without a conclusion, the memory is incomplete!
If you want to finally be free of the emotional sting of your past challenging/traumatic memories, and finally be able to ‘let it go’… you must accept a conclusion. You don’t need to be happy with the conclusion… but you must accept a conclusion!
Whilst the memory is incomplete, you will never be able to…
- Forget about it!
- Move on!
- Put it behind you!
You will never be able to… let it go …
Because YOU are not the one holding onto it!!!!!!
The part of your mind that stores your memories; your unconscious mind, is holding onto the incomplete memory for you. It will continue to hold onto the memory, and will not let you let it go… until you accept a conclusion, which then completes the memory. Until then your unconscious mind…
- Can NOT let it go!
- Can NOT move on!
- Can NOT put it behind you!
Your unconscious mind can NOT forget about it...
...until the memory is complete!
If your unconscious mind can't forget about it...
...neither can you!
Your unconscious mind has the job of NOT letting 'it' go until...
...YOU accept a conclusion!
The memories you can't let go of, are like stories that don't have an ending... A conclusion brings the story to an end.
Your ‘story’ can’t possibly be ‘over and done with’ until it has an ending; a conclusion. But…The part of the mind that stores the memory, can not ‘conclude’ the memory for you…
- Your unconscious mind can't write the ending to your story. You've got to do that yourself!
- You have to provide the ending… You have to come to a conclusion.
- Your unconscious mind can't 'let it go' until the memory is complete.
- An incomplete memory; a memory without a conclusion… is unacceptable to the part of the mind that stores memories!
You cannot get closure until you’ve come to an accepted conclusion, and the story has an ending. An accepted conclusion results in closure!
If you don’t accept a conclusion… you can't get closure!
If you don’t get closure… you can't let it go!
Unlike a football grand final, some of your past ‘challenging’ experiences never come to an end. They will go on eternally in the part of your mind that holds onto your memories for you, and it will continue to react to the feelings associated with the memory, until you come to the ‘consciously‘ ‘accepted’ conclusion that…
It is over and done withClosure!
Closure is NOT for YOU… It’s for the part of your mind that stores your memories. You need to provide the closure; the conclusion… and you need to accept the conclusion. Until you do… the memories of your past challenging experiences will keep coming back into your awareness… because they are incomplete memories. As a result, you’ll find yourself unable to ‘let it go’ and every time it reappears back in your conscious mind, you’ll be re-traumatised all over again! The feelings that you’ll do anything and everything to avoid will also come back into your awareness… so too will the physiological reactions.
The solution is as simple as accepting a conclusionYeah but…
Some of your past challenging experiences; the ones you really wish had never ever happened… have been so… Horrendous. Appalling. Violent. Gut-wrenching. Soul-destroying. Heart breaking. So completely and utterly… unforgivable. Accepting the outcome; the conclusion… is just so totally unacceptable!
How the hell can you forgive the unforgivable and accept an unacceptable conclusion?
YOU... CAN'T!
But...
There's a part of your mind that CAN!
The Effective Closure program will teach you how to get freedom from all manner of 'mental health issues' like...
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Compulsive thinking
- Compulsive behaviour
- Insomnia
- Chronic Pain
- And a whole range of physical, mental & emotional disturbances!
With the Effective Closure Technique, you really can…
- Get your mind back under control...
- Go from being anxious to feeling calm...
- Beat depression and get your mojo back...
- Stop the incessant mental chatter in your head...
- Sleep like a baby...
- Get over chronic pain - not by managing it; by eliminating the cause!